I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
