So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
