Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
