Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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