he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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