Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
