doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
