your room smells of hookers.
And success
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
