the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize