I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
