The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
