i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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