I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
