The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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