One girl and one boy is just not enough.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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