Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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