My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
