oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
