Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
