You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
