I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
