I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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