I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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