Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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