How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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