NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
