This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize