Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
