we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
