At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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