No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
