so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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