This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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