I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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