Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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