I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
