So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
