Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Alive.
So much puke
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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