my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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