Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
