I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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