then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
