If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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