they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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