You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
