I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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