Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
