she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
