you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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