is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
