I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Randomize
