The maid of honor just puked.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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