So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize