is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
