I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
as a side note pls kill me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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