There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
