Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize