so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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