your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
