Screwed.edu
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
