cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
