At least make sure they are 18
Why
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
