hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
