Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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