You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He better not be in your backpack
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
