I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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