please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
