he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize