I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
