My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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