it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
