you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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