i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How does one acquire holy water?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize